Tears_of_a_Fox45's Xanga

Friday, November 06, 2009

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 20:26:37 GMT

I like colors :)

Hmm, what have I been doing lately?

Same things... going to school, coming home, sleeping, etc.

I have learned a lot more about other cultures, if that counts for anything. Sociology is so interesting, yet I still don't have the... comprehension skills sometimes to explain myself without writing it down so I still don't talk in class. :/ It's still difficult for me to put thoughts together.. ><

It can't really be explained.

And I bet people wonder why I always look so bored all the time when I'm really not.

I think its because I hid behind a computer screen, thus hindering me from learning how to act and react in situations and express my feelings. I'm able to do it sometimes... but most the time it makes me feel a bit awkward. x_x

Onto other things..

Halloween was pretty fun for me I suppose. I went with TK and Claye to this party. I didn't know anyone there but they were TK's friends. TK started drinking and having a bunch of different things. She got a little tipsy. I told Jacob i'd also go to his party that night, so we left. I was the DD. TK sat in my backseat and just pointed out random smily faces, tried to read katakana and also tried to open the car door while i was still driving. I also decided to bug her since I knew she was wasted and just ask her random questions... like if she would ever screw Claye or not.

TK: No... I mean... maybe... in time...
Claye: O_O KATIE?! WTF

xD

Sooo then we arrived at Jacob's place, but he, Wes, Wes' girlfriend and their friend were about to leave to go to Wal-Mart. TK hopped in the car with them while Claye and I waited back at the apartment complex in my car. While there I just told Claye different reasons why I broke it off with Jacob and whatnot. Charlena came home and let us inside. About ten minutes later, they came back. TK walked in the door saying, "I dont think you want to see me right now... ugh..." she had throw up all over the lab coat and looked like a mess. She had thrown up in Wes' gf's car. So Jacob helped her get upstairs and take a shower. She was in there for a good thirty minutes or so, throwing up every now and then. At one point we thought she had been quiet for too long and went up to check on her. She passed out on Charlena's bed with just a towel over her.

So a few days later Batinna was telling me how I was such a good friend because if that were her, she would've left TK at Jacob's house. We could've all been arrested even though I didn't have a drop of alcohol. Cops were just pulling over random people that night and thank God it wasn't us. x_x I knew it was risky but the most I could do is put TK in my back seat.

So in other news, Batinna also asked me if I want to be a video editor for this production company Candace's mom is starting. Of course I accepted, but I don't know too much else. I'll find out more next week. Batinna, the twins, Candace and one other girl are VIPs and i'm the main video editor. Right now they're trying to 'hire' Big Bang over here and get them to perform. Candace's mom said that money wasn't an issue, as long as we get it all back through concessions and tickets. I think with the high Korean population here it won't be hard to sell tickets, especially since Tennessee is right in the middle of a bunch of states. It'd be cool if we could get them here. :)

Soo thats pretty much all I've got going on. ^^

Wee!

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 00:11:43 GMT

Okay, so it's been a pretty good few days I suppose. First off, Saturday, Patrick got his Eagle rank (the highest rank in boy scouts) and my uncle Chris, uncle jack and pop pop came into town that night for it. The next day, Hiro was in Nashville, so TK and I went to meet him there. We toured around downtown, went to the Parthenon, etc. Monday, Hiro came to Clarksville. He came to Japanese class with me, did a self introduction (jikoshokai) and people understand most of what he said. Lol,

Hiro: boku no namae wa, hiro desu. Yatta!

((quoting the guy from Heroes xD))

So after class, Lea, Leanne and Coty met up with us downstairs in the UC while he ate. We then thought the museum would be open, but apparently nothing downtown is open on monday (ftwww) so we just went to the mall for laser tag. After being so close in beating the other team, they gave us another game for free to even the score. The twins won again (because im terrible at laser tag) xD but it was still fun. I'm used to losing anyway. (cough, soccer, cough xD)

So Tuesday I was still kinda excited from the weekend; I went to Jap class and then home. Now today I'm trying to make a decision on whether to continue with my Gender in Society class. I'm freaking behind; i haven't started my project (project update due tomorrow, ftw) etc. I talked to Dr. Flower (yes, that's her name) in her office today and just started crying in front of her because I just didn't understand what the class requirements were and started feeling really dumb. She was really nice about it though, she told me that maybe I wasn't ready for this class and my comprehension level wasn't really at the level this class was. I really think I'm just going to drop it and get an automatic W. I have to be real... I don't understand much in that class... x_x

So yeah. That's whats happenin..

They kidnapped me

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 16:19:40 GMT

So mom... when are we going to Japan??

I really wanna go.

((she won't read that))

Anyway..

Hmm, yesterday I got a little angry because TK, the twins and I were supposed to meet up at APSU at 2:30.. I arrive there at like 2:35. I texted TK to tell her I was there; she had texted me about 15 mins before saying she was on her way. So twenty minutes pass; I don't expect the twins to be on time.. ever. But what frustrates me is when I'm sitting there for 20 minutes or more without any updates from anyone... like where they are and stuff or if they're even coming at all. So I got mad and left.

But I guess I got over it later on..

Leanne invited me to her house around 5ish. We cleaned out the car a little bit and they showed me the huge spider that was in there. How dare they call me over for that?! xD buuut. anyway. So we decided to do something random and spontaneous, so Leanne started driving towards Kentucky. We kept going... and going... and going... we were worse than the Energizer bunny! ((the hell...)) so yeah... we made it all the way to the TN river in KY... about 40 miles away from Hoptown. Leanne was freaking out about driving over the bridges and we weren't really going anywhere... so we just turned around. The only stop we made was at Wendys. xD

Lea: OMG. THE COWS! LOOK AT THE COWS! They're all WHITE! WHAT THE HELL?!

((I got a video of that)) xD

So I kept texting TK and Claye telling them we were in Indiana... not sure if they believed me but oh well. The last thing I sent to TK said "two hours til Michigan!" XD

I'm so mean.

So yeah. Yay for random trips?

Weeee

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 22:18:03 GMT

"Don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful,
they can all get fucked just stay true to you..."

-- Eminem

xD

Well, I really should be like TK and write down what happens everyday... but i'm too lazy for that. So I just come up with random things to update on... I suppose.

Hmm...

Crush = non existent.

School = lots of reading and writing for once.

Friends = love

Exes (some) = annoying

TK = awesome. she rescued me once again. XD

Interpals = Crazy guy ranting about his country and calling me an angel, then giving me his number. Scary. At least i've made one good friend so far...

Myspace = kind of annoying

Facebook = okay

Japanese class = I kind of think the teaching is a little unorganized... but he's trying.

That's all.

lets see..

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 00:37:44 GMT

So the first week of school was alright. I have a cool English teacher, my Japanese teacher is funny, and the other two are awesome too. I'm looking forward to this semester. Batinna's in my Japanese class. It's been forever since we've had a class together..

I've been using a new website called www.interpals.net
It's kind of set up like myspace and you don't even have to pay or upgrade to a membership to send messages. It's really awesome and i've made a few new friends already. I'll be sending letters again in no time ^^

Another thing that got me is how.. excited i've been the past few days. I don't know...

Last night TK and I went and met a friend of mine that started talking to me on myspace that lives here in clarksville. We found out we have tooons in common. It just took me by surprise. I think we kind of get where this is going. So we met him last night and watched some of The Quiz Show 2. Even in person he's really cool and I can't wait to see him tomorrow for his birthday. I hope i'm not being blind or anything, but.. at the moment I just feel really happy. I've never met another guy that had so many of the same interests.

Although, I do feel kind of bad about Claye. I told him I didn't want to date at the moment, that I did kind of like him but... this other guy and I just click better. However, I have to get to know him a little better first... so i'm not rushing into anything. It's just... I don't know..

Oh yeah, beer makes TK tired, apparently.

That's all ^-^

雨の真実

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 15:25:28 GMT

Well, I would've written about this last night but something made me feel better.

So yesterday I hung out with TK, Lea, Leanne, Batinna and Danbi. Batinna was supposed to pick up Gbenga (He's coming back for some reason) from the airport. TK and I kind of wanted to go too so we could see him and so I can figure out where the airport is, but I thought we'd be doing more than just picking him up. We ended up staying in Nashville for like 10 minutes. Yeah. Pointless x-x

But there was something bothering me. When we were deciding who's gonna ride with who, Lea was pretty much begging to ride with Batinna and Leanne was arguing with her. No one wanted to ride with TK and I it seemed. Idk. That just felt like she didn't want to be around us. And of course, being my insecure self, I start taking this to a deeper level. I used to tell Jacob all the time I didn't think I was 'fun.' People like Batinna. I know they're gonna say stuff like be more open and stuff like that, but.. argh. I dont have good conversation skills. It's hard for me to come up with something to talk about. I know, I'm pitiful. Maybe i'm just a boring person.

I know Lea, Leanne and Batinna are closer than they are with TK and I... well, me specifically since them and TK have had some issues but idk. This is another way our little 'group' has separated.. i dont even know if I can call it a group anymore. Yeah, friends grow up and move on but I'm trying to avoid that as much as possible. I don't want to lose these people. I don't.

But when we separate into little groups like that... idk. The twins are with Batinna a lot. Batinna doesn't ever call me to hang out and vice versa, probably because the other won't call the other. Getting Lea and Leanne out of the house is hard because they're busy. Another thing that got to me was when I had asked them the other day to hang out with me and they said they're not sure, they'll be busy, but find out later they're out roaming around with Batinna. I found out Batinna needed their help and all that so I kind of got over it but at that time it just felt like they completely forgot or something. If you don't want to hang out just tell me or at least tell me what's going on. I hate waiting all day for something, especially not being updated or whatever. I start calling/texting to find out. No one answers their phone. I give up.

So aside from feeling like the most boring person in the world, I honestly don't know what to do. I know what I can do but how to do that... meh. Maybe I need better interests.

x_x

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 23:12:29 GMT

I updated.

Living Life

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 17:14:47 GMT

Last night I went to an uber awesome rave with TK. Met up with Andrew there, but we didn't talk much. Anyway, i'm just surprised at how I dance when I really get into music. Idk... I can do stuff I didnt know I could do... o-o;

Hmm... lately i've just been watching J-dramas and such. The Quiz Show 2 is a current favorite. Arashi = love. I've been very fangirl-ish lately, but I know i'll get out of that phase soon. For now though, I'll just keep dreaming XD

Actually, i've been inspired to write an actual novel of my own. Right now i'm just trying to put ideas together for the perfect love story. I figured.. if I write this, I can possibly understand myself and what I want better. I guess I know kind of what I want, but I also have a lot of growing up to do. It's hard to explain.

As for Jacob, meh. It's not like I want him back, but I just don't like some stuff he does. x_x; I don't know why it bothers me so much.

And Jeff, he apologized to me for being such a jerk. Last week he left a message on my voicemail saying my friends talk crap about him, that I talk crap about him, etc. and that he was done with trying to be my friend. Truthfully, I was just tired of all the lies he tells, even though sometimes I wonder if he even knows he's doing it. I have heard that he's a compulsive liar. Oh well. I go with the flow.

I'm not romantically interested in anyone.

As for fanfic updates, they've been slow, despite the constant support. x_x

I've noticed I've become a bit worse than I used to be. I'm getting close to not caring at times.

Live=Evil is a great song and helps me relax.

...hmm. that's about it.

I need a new job..

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 16:31:30 GMT

Gah.

Looks like I need to start looking for a new job.

Seems like nothing I do is ever good enough.

I thought I did well with the bathing dogs, but I found out that Stephanie, the groomer I was bathing dogs for didn't think so. She didn't want me to come back. She was fired last week for being rude to a customer and some other stuff. Julia told me groomers are a pain in the ass, but idk. I just feel like i've failed once again.

But she said to put some applications in at some other places because she honestly doesn't know where to put me right now; basically i'm on standby. I told her I wouldn't mind working in the back again, but she said I don't do a good job back there. She also said even Sarah's getting to the burnout point; I knew it would happen. She doesn't blame us; that kenneling would get old like that. It would take a person like my dad to work back there for a long time. (he delivers the same mail to the same houses everyday, etc. and he's been doing it for years.) Maybe I just don't have the commitment.. or work ethic.. or something. I don't know. I'm just not good enough.

But Julia told me to put her down as a reference and she'll give me an 'excellent' reccomendation. I don't know why she's going to lie.. or at least that's what it sounds like but I guess I understand. She knows that kenneling is not a long-time job I guess. I've worked there on and off for two years now. As much as i'm afraid to leave and start at a new place... I might just have to. That's another reason why I haven't quit; I'm afraid to start over. Julia, Kathy and most the other employees at this place are really easy-going. It's not a hard job, it's just the commitment to continue doing the same thing and the same amount of effort (make sense?? o.o) every time you're there. I guess that goes for anything, but.. x_x;

Anyway..

Yesterday I went to Nashville and met part of Jeff's family; his mother, great grandma, some cousins, etc. T'was pretty cool I guess. I came home around 2ish and then Batinna texted me saying she was with the twins and wanted to hang out for a bit. Honestly I thought that was awesome, because I miss Batinna. T.T So we got into Lea and Leanne's car outside my house and just talked for a while. Before that I had been crying, because I hated how much I hurt Jacob and how I was to him; I didn't think he deserved someone like me and I'll probably never forgive myself for what I've done to him. Being in relationships isn't for me, it seems. x_x

So after a while I texted 'goodnight' to Jeff and he ended up calling me instead saying that he heard some bad news earlier; one of his friends just died. He was crying, so I decided to go back over there and comfort him; ended up spending the night. (nothing happened, don't think like that. In fact, we barely spoke all night because he was so sad) So I left around 11 and now i'm home feeling like a failure because of work. -sigh-

I'll probably stay home today. I've barely been home lately (at least at nighttime)

But another thing that pissed me off today was my mom saying, "we need to know where that car is at night." I know its not true but it felt like they cared more about the car than me. She said afterwards she'd like to know where I was, but why did she have to say that second? My dad did the same thing a few months ago and I felt like he only cared about that car. :/ Idk. I've had so effing much on my mind lately its killing me. I've never been so stressed.

I want to update my stories, but all these things on my mind prevent that. Sorry.

Maybe i'll write a new one about how my life is right now (base it off of that) but I know what happens when I do that.

T.T

On Vacation..

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 02:44:45 GMT

I'm here in Virginia at my Aunt's new house. (She's had it for a while, I just havent seen her in two years.)

So we saw my brother Chris today. I didn't even recognize him at first! o_o

We got a family picture :)

Bt what was bothering me today was my dad. I want a little snack and he scolds me for being hungry! I hadn't eaten in like five hours before that. Meanwhile, Patrick was over there munching on some Pringles and he didnt say anything to him. So two hours pass after we saw Chris and I ask if we were going to stop for a bite to eat since Patrick asked that earlier and never got an answer. I wasn't really hungry, but I was curious. So when we got back to my aunt's house (where i am now) she offers some food and my dad just HAS to comment saying "oh, that was the first thing she asked about; katie go eat, youre hungry."

I feel like my dad doesn't like me much.

Whenever I try to talk to him he's always looking at me like i'm crazy or something!

Geeze i'm tired of this. I'm glad my mom came because if she didn't, I would not have come.

Off to Gettysburg tomorrow... I hope I see a ghost.